When Chivalry is Neighbour to Xenophobia
Two letters in the ST Forum today lamented the dearth or death of chivalry in Singapore.
37y/o Alex Tan’s gripe is mainly against women wherein they were mentioned no less than five times his letter. To his acts of chivalry, “Most of the women simply walked away either as if nothing had happened or with a facial expression that seemed to imply that I had done or said something rude to them. All I had done was something most would describe as either chivalrous or courteous.”
Well Alex, in an age of equality for the sexes, women don't need you to stoop to opening doors for them, certainly not when they fancy they have the face that launches a thousand ships. A sampan like you won't do.
In the case of a Brendan Buxton (the name would suggest a white), he had the misfortune to encounter a self-confessed xenophobic. Brendan invited contempt on himself for going to such lengths just to extract an acknowledgment from the party he rendered what he deemed a favour or service, never mind that it was entirely voluntary on his part. "While he felt like a victim, he acted like a hero." Best not to expect anything in return for kind deeds and you will not be disappointed.
When the concept of chivalry is invoked, it goes back to an era of princes, princesses and castles in the air. It often associated with the ideals of medieval knighthood as portrayed in the legends of King Arthur and his Knights of Round Table. The prefect knight in shining armour was thought to embody a distinct array of ideals such as bravery, compassion for suffering, piety, justice and a rescuer of damsels in distress. In matters of love, he acted with moderation, composure and patience in wooing his fair maiden. The chivalrous man wanted his lady love to love him for his worthy character more than anything else. Character is what maketh a man.
Chivalry, then, means much more than the simple good manners or politeness of today like opening doors for ladies or spreading one’s trench coat over a puddle. These are merely the outward signs of a deeper character that go towards making a man the man within.
posted by Victor Lai @ 3:29 PM
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