The Irony of Loneliness in the midst of Plenty
In an on-line forum, I clicked on a thread “Lonely People” and uncovered revealing thoughts some of which are reproduced below beginning with the leader:Do you find that there are more and more lonely people these days?
I would include myself, except that it is not surprising that I'm lonely. I'm in my 30s, but quite ugly and a difficult person to get along with.
But I notice that there are more and more people including ladies who are lonely and looking for companions, such that I even get some attention from them, simply because I am single, unattached and apparently lonely too. It is unlikely that these ladies are looking to me for money, because they are probably doing better than me in their careers and financially.
It is a sad state of the world that so many lonely people exist.
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i never for once would believe that people are lonely... be it single or attached or married or divorce or whatever...people are thinking that they are lonely because they are not doing anything to preoccupy their mind... having another person (a companion) may not necessary solve their lonliness problem... a companion may squarrel, disagree with them... they may not all be positive but may prove to be a negative impact...
i dun think i will ever feel lonely... friends aside, i still have my pet peesee (with internet, music, tv, chats, etc)... my books, my movies, dvds, mtvs, exercise/shopping/travel, my own set of domestic chores etc... and of cuz zzz too...
how can i be lonely with all that? least, be a volunteer to do / give your time spent with the lonely children or lonely elderly left unwanted by their own children...
so who's more lonely hur?
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Think u r very right.
Once u r busy, u have no time to feel lonely.
But no one can be busy all the time
Anyway, loneliness is not that bad. After a while, u will get used to it.
we are definitely not alone coz there are plenty out there who has been living in their own "lonely planet". it's just that they don't admit or reveal their true feelings lar. on the outset some of those "party animals" looks as if they are enjoying themselves by chilling out in pubs, discos etc but deep inside they've been thinking otherwise.
so....are we alone? hmm....we'll never know. there are those who want to get out of the loneliness while others just wish they can get in at the same time.
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Loneliness depends on the person actually. Some people want love and affection, which is fine, whereas others need love and affection.
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People who need love and affection are weak.
People who want love and affection are silly.
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yes no one can be busy all the time. there are times when i wish i am just not busy - i wish for time to just being idle and not feelin too guilty about it...
but to be busy means there's a choice to either busy or being idle.
yes i do enjoy / appreciate being alone (thou not at all feeling lonely)
i'm able to enjoy that because i know how to be busy with myself...
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A loner enjoys a lifestyle that is perceived by people as lonely.
A lonley person is lonely when he thinks all people in society think's it's lonley to be alone.
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it's easy to get caught up in the ' noise' of the world and feel lonely.
When you ' see' pple partying, shopping- with so called' beautiful friends' , you can indeed feel lonely. However, on the contrary it is those people who are lonely and need to do what they are doing to feel wanted.
Get to know yr true self and you''ll never be lonely.
Loneliness in the midst of plenty is ironical. It's like water water everywhere and not a single drop to drink.
A refrain in one of the Beatles’ songs goes like this:
“All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?'"
The premise that being alone is not good or right is flawed. Many people cannot accept aloneness during their lives and surround themselves with other people and activities so they don’t have to acknowledge their aloneness. If they are constantly surrounded, they can deceive themselves into believing they are not alone. This is the cause of their feeling of loneliness. No one is free until he has erased all self-deception from his mind. Perhaps the self-deception we tend to cling to most is the idea that we are not alone.
In an urban society like ours, it is very difficult to get away from the constant press of activity, from the noise, from phone calls and whatever that impinges on us. We don’t realize how much we could enjoy ourselves if we escaped from all that input.
We forgot that the imagination flourishes best in solitude. The creative virtues of being alone have been lost because psychiatry pushes the view that personal relationships are the only source of fulfillment and adult lives are discussed in terms of hetero-sexual partnerships. Is there any wonder than that a great number of single people feel uncomfortable without really knowing why? We forgot that being alone is not synonymous with being lonely.
Many people find that one of the best ways of coming to terms with a very traumatic situation like bereavement is to go off by themselves.
Among creative individuals, the great abstract thinkers and philosophers probably have led the most solitary lives. There must be a connection between the capacity for long periods of concentration on abstract thought and not having the distraction of a family and close relationships.
The acid test of aloneness is whether you like yourself enough to not be afraid to be alone. I am not referring to narcissism which is a different thing altogether. Just like yourself sufficiently. Contrary to what Funny Girl extols about the virtue of people who need people, they aren't necessarily the luckiest people in the world.
In this book The Experience of Insight, Joseph Goldstein wrote, “We are each going to die alone. It is necessary to come to terms with out basic aloneness, to become comfortable with it. The mind can become strong and peaceful in that understanding, making possible a beautiful communion with others. When we understand ourselves, then relationships become easy and meaningful.”
If we can’t accept the basic aloneness that the author talks about, then relationships are a guise, a means to reinforce the false idea that we are not alone. Sure, along the way there are people to help us through individual situations and problems, to bring us joy and understanding, and to pull us along emotionally. But physically, we are still alone, and in our decisions we are alone.
Solitude, though it may be silent as light, is like light, the mightiest of agencies; for solitude is essential to man. All men come into this world alone; all leave it alone." -- Thomas De Quincey
posted by Victor Lai @ 1:17 PM
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